Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
