My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
