Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
