thus making me awesome and them whores
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
