I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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