He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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