Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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