they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
