Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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