i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
