not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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