so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
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I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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