Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i love accidental penises.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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