Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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