dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
