My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
