worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
