how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
