Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
How naked do you want me to be?
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