Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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