last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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