dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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