hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
