drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
