I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize