i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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