he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I love you.
Bad choice
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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