I feel like abortions should bother me more
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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