I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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