oh god the rape fog is back!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
