I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize