Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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