You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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