I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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