yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
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He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
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I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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