Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
