party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
