remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize