Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize