part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
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She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
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For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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