But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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