omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We have so much sex to catch up on
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.