I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
