2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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