dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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