we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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