Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
