This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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