I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Shame is for Republicans.
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