New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
