fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
