Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
