lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
