You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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