I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
