her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
