last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
