I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
