phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Vodka?
Forever.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
