just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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